Sep 062013

Sometimes, for laughs, I read a particular blog about how terrible pick-up artists and men’s rights activists can be. Today, for your amusement, follow along with me! First, read [this buzzfeed item]. Take note of the toy factory owner, and then read [this post], picturing that toy factory owner as the author of the quoted text (instead of Morgan Freeman).

Don’t thank me yet!

Below is some BONUS CONTENT, copy-pasted from one of the finest corners of the internet, to which I cannot actually link because it isn’t public. In answer to all these PUAs straining furiously to have intercourse with the women that they and other weirdos like them consider the most beautiful and pure in all the land:

“hey, guys, if you only want to have sex with nines or whatever, sorry to be the bearer, but what you have isn’t a sex drive, it’s a drive to impress other men, to establish social dominance through their envy of your conquests.  and do you know what we call men who are driven by dominance over other men through sexual means?  gay.  tops, specifically.  so really, dudes, just embrace it.  go fuck a guy.  show him who’s boss.  there are a lot of involuntarily celibate gay bottoms out there who will love you for it.  i’ve heard guys complaining at the gym that ‘the new york scene is like the tupperware in my fridge: all bottoms, no tops’.  go where you’ll be appreciated and get your needs met!  it’s okay.  we still love you as much as we ever did.”

That’s pretty wrong in a couple of directions, but I laughed.

  7 Responses to “Since I Guess We’re All Talking About Feminism”

  1. Involuntary bottoms is the name of my Kiss cover band.

  2. That particular example of genetic purity apparently doesn’t know how to use apostrophes. I think I’ll keep the well-punctuatin’ man I have.

  3. I may never forgive you for being the facilitator of me reading about the Guy with the Golden Jizz………

    But I DID have to giggle at him finding his True Love in the NYC gar bar scene. Therefore forgiveness, and the next time you are here, homemade Monkey Bread, are yours.

  4. Wow. I am kind of speechless with delight! This was so wonderfully crazy, but, now I’m getting golden seed mixed up in my head with The Golden Palominos and I’m headed to a dark, dark place.

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